Don't forget me :(

This past weekend we drove out to Arizona. I've never been to Mesa & to be honest the only experience I've had with Arizona is Quartzite. Omg we all know how much I LOVE that place.

So needless to say I wasn't expecting too much. I tried not to expect anything so I wouldn't be too disappointed. I am definitely the pessimistic one in our relationship & even though I love Paul sometimes his "everything is sugar & spice & will work out in the end" speeches get a bit old. Especially when I'd rather wallow in self pity.

So early Saturday morning we got up, dressed, packed & kissed the poochies good-bye & told them to wish us luck. I think they might have wished more for themselves because what can I say? Arizona was pretty awesome.

On the drive there we saw a lot of this:

Now you can only play count the cactus for so long. :/

Thankfully the drive wasn't that bad. I drove from Cali to Quartzite & Paul drove the rest of the way (only 4 1/2 hrs. total, not too shabby). As soon as he hit civilization I noticed one thing right off the bat.

The freeway was bare....bare & free of any tagging!

I really wish I took pics but believe me I looked. Nothing on the ramps, street lights, stop signs....nothing. I didn't want to jinx anything so just kept an eye out. Little did I know Paul was noticing the same thing. If there's anything I hate is the awful look & aura of tagging. It's pointless & a disturbing reminder that there's a bunch of dumb asses in the area.

As we drove further into Az I noticed that the traffic was a lot calmer. There were cars on the road but no one was in a hurry, cutting in & out of lanes or riding our ass.

So far so good.

The city we'll be working out of is Mesa but we looked in the city of Gilbert (two exits away) for a place to live. As soon as we exited Power Rd. into Gilbert we were warmly welcomed by a huge sign glowing Super Target. If you know me, you know my love for Target. There was a grand opening for a 76 gas station. Full of free food, drinks, snacks, a jumper & a wall for rock climbing set up for kids to run around & play.

Just as I was settling down & getting rid of some anxiety the real pressure started.

Apartment hunting. BLAH! So after the first place I was already burnt (we arrived close to 1pm) & wanted to grab a bite to eat. New York Pizza Dept. was highly recommended & not a far drive so we headed out.

Cute right?

As soon as we went inside I noticed only one other family eating there. Maybe, they don't pick up until late afternoon? So I went to the bathroom to wash up & I'm not sure what hit me but I realized that this is it. When we go out to eat it's just going to be Paul & I. My aunt won't be waiting or meeting us anywhere. I won't be able to solve the child menu puzzles with my cousins & I can't grab sushi with Diana every time I'm sad.

I thought I was fine but reality hitting me out of nowhere really shook things.

So, I walked back to our table, sat down & cried. Paul held me & just reminded me of all the opportunities moving would give us & Cameron. I know he's right. I know this is the right thing to do. But moving still hurts my heart.

Before leaving the waitress gave us a welcome packet.

It was full of goodies. Menu, coupons & free dessert voucher. I don't know if she felt bad for us or was just truly nice but it did put a better light on the situation.

We went to a few more places. I didn't love any of them. Paul was still stuck on the first place which I liked but didn't love. Before leaving to Az I googled dog parks in Az & found Cosmo Park.

Wow! It was better than we imagined.

Full of dogs (most dog parks that we've been to have 5 or less) it had a man made lake for dogs to swim in or play fetch. There was even a ramp so the dogs could run off of it & jump into the water.
Obstacles through out the park to run over, under & through.

I couldn't help but get excited & look forward to bringing Oscar & Sadie back.


An Amphitheatre. Paul already envisioned Shakespeare being played. :)

There was even a kid area which I'm sure we'll visit plenty with Cameron.

To top it all off the restrooms were sparkling clean with no tagging! As you can see this "no tagging" feature is huge with me. When I asked an employee at one of the apt. complexes if they have somebody come out & paint over tagging she replied with, "what's tagging?" I had to explain that it's graffiti. She said, "we don't have that problem in Az." Music to my ears. Now I'm not naive. I'm sure it's somewhere but in the full two days we were there I didn't see it once.

But it's nice to know that if I do see some at Cosmo park there's a number I can call.

Oh, & I will. :)

We finally found (the last place we visited before heading home) an apt. I LOVE in an area that compliments our needs. But I'll save the stories & pics for another post.

We finally met Cameron Joaquin Jackson

I still can't believe it.

My appointment was yesterday at 10am. I took the whole day off in anticipation. My plan was to get ready & leave the house before 9:30 so I could drink my water & not have to worry about breaking a sweat in my bouncy car. Unfortunately, it didn't happen that way.

9:38 Still at home. Running around looking for camcorder, keys (mental note: they're in the bathroom), cell phone. WHERE THE HELL IS MY CELL PHONE?!

10 seconds later....

Cellphone rings!

Paul: I'm on my way to the dr's office.

Brandy: Uh-huh yeah...

Paul: Did you get my text?

Brandy: Wha? What are you talking about? Frantically making the dogs a treat

Paul: Because you didn't reply...

Brandy: WHAT?! No, no I didn't. I mean I couldn't find my cell. I mean ok, ok I'm on the verge of throwing up from being so damn nervous. I have to leave right now!

9:41 I close front door.......& as I hear it click I realize. I never went back for my keys. :(

So shortly afterward Paul picked me up & we were on our merry way. Merry as in I was chugging down bottle after bottle of water while trying not to throw up.

We finally arrive at the dr's office & as I go check in Paul stays behind in the car to let the camcorder charge. Yes be jealous. Our awesome car comes complete w/a 12v line. It's as if they had me & my camera/camcorder that's always dead in mind when they designed that beauty. :)

After I checked in Paul & I documented the day to Baby J. I assured him that yes his mommy is a dope that does tend to lock herself out of the house or other bizarre quirks especially when I'm nervous. After the mini interview we were off to our appt.

Holy cow I thought I was going to explode w/excitement & pee. Thankfully I kept it all together & we went off w/our U/S technician. Her name was Lori. Before we started the u/s we introduced her to baby J via camcorder & then the real excitement began. We saw our baby J!

It's so crazy. It felt as though only last week he was this big:

& now we were seeing actual arms, legs & mouth!

It took her awhile to determine if it was a baby boy or girl. He started off sound asleep facing toward the camera. :/ Stubborn like his mama. No bueno.

With a few pushes on my belly he plopped around long enough for us to see the goods. Well, long enough for Lori to see the goods. It all happened so fast I'm glad she was use to these situations.

If it looks like a huge blur to you......well, welcome to the club. If I really put my imagination to is I think I see a pee pee but for the most part I see a bunch of ink blots. :/ After the quick crotch shot he would only give us a side view. Which was fine by us. It was so surreal to see him waving & sucking away (I think he was eating the fruit leather I ate a few mins before our appt.) :)

Then he decided he had enough of our shenanigan's

..........& kicked me.

I didn't feel the kick but holy cow with a foot that huge how could I not right? After I expressed how huge I thought his foot was I expected Lori to say, "no, no that's normal." but instead she answered, "WHOA THAT IT IS BIG!" ha ha our little giraffe.

A few more shots later & our appt. was over. We stayed for a bit & chatted w/Lori. Her only child leaves for college this year. :( She was rather upset about it & said to enjoy our baby while we can because it all flys by so fast. Even though I know it's all true I can't wait for it to begin. :)

Lori gave Paul a little celebration gift.

I swear he still carries it around with him. Ok maybe not "carries" it but I know it's on his desk at work. ;)

We can't wait to meet & hold you Cameron!

Big hugs & kisses!

my baaaaaabyyy!!!

*dramatic moment over*

Well I guess baby is kinda pushing it considering Oscar will turn the big 5 on May 18! But He'll always be my baby. I've had dogs growing up but Oscar is my first "real" dog. Yes, I spoil him rotten but that's my prerogative.

Intro Bobby Brown

Along with alot of love, attention, long walks & lots of treats I also shower him w/crazy concern. Once Paul took him out for a late walk & he came back home w/a bloody paw. I instantly freaked out & rushed him to the vet. It was already after hours so I paid $40 extra for a home visit. Turns out his pretty little paws weren't use to hard pavement & it sliced them open. Poor baaabyyy!

Endless love.

I've always felt a little weary with our Vet. He was always "rough" with Oscar & Sadie. Never once said hi to them or take the time to get along w/them. Sounds funny but that's a huge plus. Who wants to see somebody they're afraid of? On each visit Oscar & Sadie would tremble the moment I opened the vet door & Sadie would growl at Dr. Sid. The last straw was Molly's initial visit. She was nervous but a very good patient. Instead of taking the time to calm her nerves Dr. Sid was harsh & even pulled on her leash when she didn't instantly follow me outside the office.


PISSED THE HELL OUT OF ME!


So I remembered awhile back our friend recommended his vet & decided to take a chance. Thank goodness we did! This past Sunday I noticed a bump on the outside of his left ear. I made a trip to the new Vet but they were closed for the weekend. :( So I called on Monday & made an appt.


The vet was really nice & gentle with Oscar. She inspected his bumps (he now has 4) & said it could be an allergic reaction to a fly or another bug bite. He's to take medication for the next two weeks. If it doesn't improve within the two weeks OR if it worsen within the next couple of days we have to take him back for a biopsy. :(


Of course I'm hoping for the best & that it is just an allergic reaction but there's the horror in having to wait.


Thank you for reading & understanding I'm a HUGE crazy dog lover that tends to freak out before it's necessary.

How cute is this face?!

Queen of random

I never knew this about myself. Recently my bff(!) Jenn pointed this out to me. Not willing to believe I repeated the comment to Paul & it was confirmed......I'm hopelessly random. Now, I'm still not quite sure what this means. Am I random or just spontaneous? Let's take last night for instance. The "plan" was to finish my taxes (which I've been putting off because I'm incredibly lazy) & study for a test. Well at least the tax part was taken care of.

We live inside a gated community. Our condo is located right by the entrance gate so we're pretty much within 10 ft of the public park & the main street. While walking toward our place I noticed a dog (who I will refer to as No Name) in the middle of the road poking her nose through some trash. I initially freaked out not only because she was in the middle of the road but because a truck was heading straight toward her! So I walked (I've realized w/each stray I meet that running only provokes fear) so I briskly walked over to No Name & calmly w/a sweet voice called out to her. Thankfully she was very trusting. So trusting in fact she fell into my lap & dug her nose in between my arm. It was so touching! My heart melt when I realized how skinny she'd become. You could see all of her bones. :( I quickly took off my coat & wrapped it around her body. It was so sad. A few cars driving outside the complex stopped & asked a few questions, "was she the one in the fight? was she with the other dogs?" I had no clue. At that time I didn't even see any dogs. I had Paul go inside to get a collar & a leash (we have extras through out the house because I'm a compulsive shopper). I carried all the way to the front portion of our condo. To avoid any conflict I wanted her to meet Sadie & Oscar on common ground. As soon as they showed interest in one another we praised & gave out treats. No Name gobbled them right up! After the intro we decided to take them inside. Oddly enough she didn't understand what stairs were or how to get up them. So I placed a treat on each step & she climbed right up!Once inside I gave her a bowl of dry food. Poor thing was so hungry! I placed my hand inside to bowl to see her reaction & thankfully she just ate around it. Not sure of her background I wanted to make sure she wasn't aggressive. The other poopies even walked around the bowl while she was eating & nothing. YAY!

After praising her good behavior we gave No Name a quick tour of her new home, don't tell Paul I said that ;).

Look at that floppy ear!

Her gorgeous eyes :)

Next, we headed to the bathroom for a much needed bath. Getting her inside the bath was fun. :/ She stiffened & tried to escape. So since she was determined to fly out of the tub.......I joined her. :) It was pathetically sad when she began to push her nose through the crack of the shower doors & started to climb up the wall to avoid getting wet.

Notice all the dirty water!

She can't even believe all that dirt was on her!

After a nice hot bath we dried her w/a towel fresh from the dryer. Oscar & Sadie love this part. After washing all the gunk & dirt off of her coat you can see just how beautiful & shiny her true coat can be! Then afterward Paul took all three out for a walk. While they were away I made a quick dash to PetSmart to pick up a crate. If we learned anything from potty training Sadie it's you should always crate train them. That was not a easy or cheap lesson to learn. Plus the crate also acts as a "den" which can help calm any feeling of insecurity w/their surroundings.

Our first night with No Name was actually pretty easy. She realized begging for human food was wrong & not to go inside the kitchen.

She laid at our feet during American Idol & went into her crate w/out (much) hesitation. She's a real sweetheart & I'm really glad she found us. Since I have class tonight Paul is taking her to meet Dr. Sid to make sure she's healthy (besides malnourished), fixed & to check if she has a chip. I cannot express how well behaved No Name is around us & our poopies. She didn't mind my touching her feet & she loves Paul. I was really excited that she didn't fear men. Alot of strays unfortunately have that common fear. I'll be sure to keep you updated on No Name. We're still up in the air about whether or not she's going to stay w/us. First step is taking her to the vet & we'll go from there.

She seems to fit in rather nicely don't you think? :)

Finally!

So with my new work schedule (Friday & Saturday off) I was able to head out to DMV & Social Security to change my name. Ok, maybe because I'm a pansy to begin with but nobody, nobody warned me about the anxiety I'd begin to feel. I switched my maiden name to my middle so it wasn't a drastic change but sitting there waiting for them to call my number I began to feel really anxious & nervous. I've had the same name for 25 years & within a day I was going to leave with a new identity. Did I mention I'm also dramatic?

Despite the emotional roller coaster I also realized that my new signature is alot better than my last & the look on Pauls face, after showing him my paperwork, was worth all the grief :) Now off to make lots of babies :p

5 more days!

Can you believe it? Only 5 more days until Christmas. Geez louise, on top of the fact that I only have my mother & two presents for Paul down I'm stuck in wonderful Quartzsite, Az. Blech. The fact that there's a cold named Quartzsite Crud should be description enough! But let me recap on our lovely trip out to Sacramento :) Before Pauls mother moved from Barstow to Sacramento we would spend Christmas Eve, eve at her house. Now that's she's made the move out to live closer to Jen (sil), Jeff (bil) & the girls. So, off to Sacramento we go! We flew out. I hate, hate flying. It freaks me out. So bad that I get really clammy & have to talk to myself to avoid screaming & running up & down the aisle. :/ It's really quite pitiful.

Jen, Myself
Camille & Alexis

Pauly & Jeff

It was nice to see everybody. It's really weird to have family so far away! I'm huge on spending time w/family. I hate to miss any type of event. Which, happens often since my work schedule is so wacky. So here we were spending time w/loved ones but I had a constant thought stuck in the back of my mind.

Would I be ok living out here?

Paul threw his hat into the ring when a position for Parts Mgr was opened in Davis, Ca. The mgr there now put in his two weeks. He's older & wants to start his retirement. The fab part of his decision is he wants Paul to replace him. When Paul called (he was at the Davis store) & told me Al's decision I instantly cried. Ok, so yeah I'm a huge cry baby but I couldn't help it! I was so proud of Paul. He works so hard. He deserves this. So why am I freaking out? Bottom line : I'd miss my family terribly. The upside is we won't be too far away. Paul already knows this move would be hard on me & even though we don't know a definite answer he's been really supportive. Which is why, I would move in a heart beat.

So back to our visit! We landed pretty late Thursday night so the girls were already in bed. On Friday, Jen & I headed out to the wineries. Mmm the wineries. It's not every day I get buzzed before lunch! After visiting a few (or a handful) of wineries we headed out to lunch. Jen & Jeff are members at a local winery & can visit every Friday for free lunch. Not only was it free, but it was delicious! I had a fab cranberry, white grape salad w/lots of yummy fresh bread. Jen had the same salad w/meat pasta on the side. I have wonderful pics but of course they're at home. Where I'm not :( Later that night we had "our" Christmas. Judi & her boyfriend (:p) came over to open presents w/the rest of us. I finally got my bluetooth! Now this may not be exciting to you but I've been traveling alot & holding a phone up for 4 hrs straight is NOT fun.




On Saturday we were a bunch of bums. After watching I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry we headed out to Leatherby's. It's was so delicious. I had Bart's Black & Tan (substitute vanilla ice cream w/vanilla frozen yogurt). If you're ever in the area check it out! Each glass is overflowing w/chocolate or caramel syrup & the whip cream is so fluffy! Yum!
Afterwards, we headed back home & played a Cleopatra. Now I usually hesitate to play w/Jeff. Both Jeff & Paul are highly competitive & dealing w/inpatient people makes me cranky. But I obliged & it was actually quite fun & there was very little bickering. Which made me a happy camper. :) Even though I never won :/ Afterwards, we watched Jackass the movie. Seriously, watch it. It was so hilarious to see what crazy stunt they attempted (& succeeded) to do. My favorite was Mouse Trap.


On our last day :( Sunday we went out w/Judi & Steve (:p) blah, blah, Elephant Bar, blah, blah, met Judi's neighbor who was actually quite charming, blah, blah then they drove us to the airport & we headed home!


We arrived home on Sunday (!) & I drove out to Quartzsite on Monday morning :( So I've been stuck here since! I hate it. I hate that I'm so far away from home & the highlight of my day consists of watching TMZ. It's horrible & I hate it.


At least I did hate it.


Today we had our Christmas luncheon. Now, normally I dread luncheons. I usually end up eating bread & chips. However our chef remembered that I was a veggie head & made side dishes especially for me.

I feel so loved & stuffed! I guess, I don't hate Quartzsite. Maybe dislike is a better choice of word. However, please do not for one second think I'm not ready & looking forward to getting the heck out of here! :)

The Countdown Begins

Paul comes home tomorrow night. Wooo Hooo! I know. I'm a sissy la but hey that's me. I'd love to join a self defense class & learn the tricks of the trade on how to keep predators away. Not that I'm the most desirable person in the world but I do have a constant fear of being raped and/or killed. Horrific I know but it's true. So until I actually do something about my fear I'll continue to double check the locks & surround myself w/awesome friends & family :)

Diana came over on Tuesday to keep me company. It was nice to sit around & talk about boys, music, huge cups, our kids (ha!) & completely udder nonsense. The plan was to cook dinner & hang out.........well at least we hung out ;) We originally wanted to make Miso Soup. Some things.......you should really leave to the professionals. We bought the premade packets from St. Bros. Boil water & add contents. Easy right?

Well first off the water wouldn't boil. Why? Because we didn't have the stove on. hee hee Then apparently we added too much water & it tasted like water w/tofu & large leaves floating around :( As Paul would say, "it's ok baby! it's going to taste good. Mmm I can't wait to eat it!" Oh well. Thankfully we had a back up plan & made Mozzarella raviolis w/veggie rolls. Mmm soooo yummy. After admitting our defeat & giving Diana a cup that wasn't meant for a giant (don't spill!) we just enjoyed each others company. Oh & the poopies loved having Diana there :) The challenge of somebody not willingly petting their cute little head gets them every time. hee hee. So here's to good food, good company & knowing that you have awesome bffs makes Paul-less nights more bearable. MUAH! love ya Diana.......but not in a weird lesbo way. Don't touch my ass. :/

note to self....

#1

Do not watch The Womens Murder Club when Pauls out of town

#2

Eating dinner alone sucks

#3

Do not eat a Snickers bar for dinner :(